Thursday, April 10, 2008

We two Ours one

Today's a glorious day in India....27% reservations has been made to a group of people based on their surnames...
oh sorry did that trivialize the issue?...well when we have every single political party in India supporting this move, I should be given some sort of creative licence to vent some steam right? Not that ranting in a blog or screaming in a street is going to do much good...Naah..Lets face facts...we deserve it and much more....

Arjun Singh is exactly what this country deserves... an Elsworth Toohey who could never cut it in any realm of life,
who has no personal achievements to his name and a "career politician" who at the maximum,can get elected through that glorious backdoor that is the Rajya Sabha.

And he is the "HRD" minister of this country ...rightly so...we deserve nothing better..

Every party right from the BJP, congress to the Communists (Indian communists it
must be said, strongly believe in caste and religion)and each and every regional party support this move for reservations...

And why not...Its the moronic citizens of this "country" like myself, that created parties who take votes based on religion, caste, gibberish(communists) and a surname(in a different context here, the congress ofcourse)

Do we have voters going to vote based on a party's policies towards free markets and more regulations, laws governing internal security, healthcare solutions, how they plan to generate employment and growth?
OR leave ALL that aside...Just, JUST whether in their opinion the local MP did a good job or not? Yeah right!!!
Our caste = Our vote is the brillaint, uncomplicated formula of the great swathes of this nation

Do we even have a tory or a labour or an Independence party(UKIP) like the UK, based on certain unchanging principles and well defined leanings?...Naah
DO we have christian democtrats or social democrats or the greens like Germany?...No way...

We did have one,long time ago, the swatantra party as my dad has told me before, with clear policies and which wanted to fight elections based on them.
But that was absolutely wiped out by my beloved countrymen in the elections.

So now, what we DO we have is, a hindus only BJP and Shiv Sena, a Sikh forever Akali Dal,a muslims only Samajwadi Party and Indian Muslim League,
a Gandhi licking congress, a hilarious and sometimes dangerously brainless left,a Casteist PMK, BSP, DMK and so many many more...

But thats the will of the majority...The hordes of idiots who go on to vote for people of their own caste and religion...
In short my dear, dear, fellow Indians...who might tomorrow go kill their neighbour as they suddenly realize he is of a different caste/religion....

See, with an electorate that is so enlightened, We should be thanking our stars that a few institutions like the Armed forces, the judiciary to some extent and the Indian cricket team are not yet representative of the bigoted and
absolutely warped minds that the majority of the people in this country have.

Yeah this is real democracy...Where if the majority is obsessed by religion and caste, how can we blame its representatives in parliament, who bless their souls, are their exact mirror images...In all their 70mm, technicolor, narrow minded glory

My beloved country...Where an incompetent idiot who would've struggled to earn an honest living goes about changing lives and playing god...


PS Navjot Singh Sidhu...I might feel like strangling your throat most of the times you talk, but you were the only MP who stood with those students unequivocally in Delhi..Thank you Sir...Thanks for trying...

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

bloody, lazy monday

Sharjah airport...After a four hour flight where as true Indians, me and 130 odd passengers expertly frustrated all attempts of stewardesses for donating, buying, renting or in any way reaching down to our wallets for anything close to money, I was finally here. The UAE.

Why did those two words merit a sentence; well one reason could be that its been my only and thus favorite holiday spot for the last decade, more importantly it could be because its one strange, funny place...

The worst thing UAE does is that it totally misguides you in the beginning...Once you enter the airport, most of the security, passport control and immigration officials are locals and there is a lot of arabic in the air and on the sign boards...False start...See UAE is this dry and rich kerala where instead of coconut trees you have petrol pumps, instead of autos you have toyotas and instead of the CPI(M) you have productive employment.

But the core remains the same...malyalis in all shapes and sizes With the addition of migrants from tamil nadu, north India, arabs from the assorted countries on the great arab peninsula and miscellanious firangs who couldnt make it in their own country.

However it is kerala with another difference...It is endearing...right from the advertisements showing the happy, care-free 7 member strong all-arab family either wolfing down mcd burgers or trying their best to fit into a Toyota Land cruiser, this fantastic country never ceases to serve up a chuckle, especially to the narrow minded, boorish migrants who make up its majority.

Take the passport stamping officials for instance...They are one of my favorites...And It always turns out the same way....

Arab Passport official:"Nekkhst"
Me: (Hurrying to the counter)
APO:(Laughing away, talking animatedly in arabic to his friend in the next counter and absently opening my passport)
Me:(controlling an urge to join in the fun with some sounds I perceive close enough to pass as arabic)
APO:(glancing at my photo and glaring right back at me as if dumbfounded as to how could I look so hideous in the passport pic)
Me:(Defensively looking back trying to convey "fine you caught me, I photograph badly, but damn you, that snarling vampire-type is me!")
APO:(Resigning himself to some vague resemblence, Stamps the passport and starts scribbling in arabic)
Me:(starting to giggle uncontrollably)

Some explanation is in order - See, This is the part where I always lose it. Coz I swear that every time I come here, they scribble something entirely different
in my passport. I am convinced that Arabs play some sort of international prank on visa officials worldwide, confident in their belief that no one can read arabic and I wouldnt be surprised if my passport read something like..
"My reccomendation for today is Lord of the rings directors cut DVD with speciallly enhanced arabic subtitles" or "I, Rashid made out with suleima in Sahara centre behind the gummy bear rollercoaster"

Anywho, after the merry go round with the passport officials, its baggage claim and into dad's car, fully knowing that the next time I will be walking another 500 mts at a stretch will be in a month or so when I am back in this airport..
Lazy holiday...Here I ...Yawn..nevermind...