Saturday, April 15, 2006

An Eternal optimist

After agonizing hours in turns spent waiting,praying,screaming in frustration and waiting again and after an IIM gave me the kick eventually, has given me the requisite gloom and the necessary bleak philosophical outlook to have a look in retrospect of the sometimes painful but mostly inertia filled years of engineering...and has led me to present You Can Live-A must read for all those who are
a. On this webpage
b.All those who satisfy a. and who are about to join/doing/have no idea about engineering..Hmm...yeah I guess only the first condition
So here it is
You Can Live-How to beat the odds/and a suicide during engineering
(In the order of the least insane)
5. 5+5=75
This is a sneak preview into the math of a 4th year engg. grad.. Thats coz 75 is the golden number.. the attendence percentage required for the Univ exam...this will be your preoccupation for the next 4 years...Any engineer worth his salt will be able to tell you whether any fraction is less than or greater than .75 with a passing glance..

4."And...Out of the ground....never mind TT's hard"
This was the dry humour of a friend when I first had a shot at the game..Since nobody can possibly start on a worser note in sports,take it from me..A sport is the only thing that can keep you from despair in engineering.Probably the only clean pleasure you will get, so play any sport you can get your hands on no matter how you suck, at the end of four years the only thing you will carry with you is your backhand slice...

3.The roulette wheel
Thats how predicatble your exam results are going to be.Just imagine buying a lottery ticket, now imagine doing this twice a year, for four years with the victory being in giving Rs800 as exam fees for next sem and losing being giving anywhere between 900(a arrear) to a legendary 2000(12 a noted and falicitated worthy of my coll)..and you dont even get a frequent purchaser benefits(regular arrear)..So not too profitable, is it??...You will flunk, fear not;but the key is to flunk judiciously in well spaced intervals and being arrear free some time during placement season...If its too hard forget are dime a dozen anyways..just work on your prayers/lucky charms/weird exam routines..yours truly always cracked his knuckles on both hands before an exam with inconclusive results but kept doing it all the same out of boredom especially after 2 hours of an exam when I have answered whatever questions I knew...

2.Self Stimulating Intellectual pursuits
Chalk throwing, hangman and crossing the dots are my personal favourites.These are specially useful during lectures of profs whom you haveta attend due to low attendence...As you will grow so mutually bored of one another talking to your classmates will not rank as one of your options..
Of these chalk throwing is the most entertaining but exercise due discretion as some prof may just not be public spirited enough to give a kindly smile and join in...And thus you might stand losing all that you have sat for...Attendence...

1.There is a world outside...
When all fails remember that these 4 years will come to an end eventually..Like in prison keep a count till D-day outta college..Like all good things all bad things also do eventually come to an end...Every single inertia/boredom filled moment that has marked your engineering has had its value, you have dealt with inane classmates and pathetic profs and whats more you have come out alive..It will be a lesson in resilience and Just like a man who just escapes death, your first thought at the end of these four years will make you feel atleast one thing..I have known how my future should never be like...

Well I have Tried to hard sell engineering allright.. Any takers????